


three's a crowd, but nine's a party

by resfeber



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band)
Genre: M/M, shitty attempt at humor, zhangjun are stubborn and xukun just wants to cuddle with his boyfriend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 06:57:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15552174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resfeber/pseuds/resfeber
Summary: zhangjun are fighting. the rest of the boys suffer.





	three's a crowd, but nine's a party

Xukun is a good man. He does the dishes, takes out the trash, and has always treated his boyfriend Zhengting with love and respect in their two years together.

Xukun is a good man, which is why he can’t even begin to fathom what he did to deserve being stuck in the backseat while two of his best friends are in the midst of a lovers’ spat. The car is too silent, with the only sound being the obnoxious voice of the American radio host booming through the radio. It is the sixteenth time Xukun has sucked on the straw on his empty cup of caramel macchiato in the last hour.

He should be back at their hotel right now, arms around Zhengting’s waist as the elder curls up to his side while they watch a movie that he most likely wouldn’t pay attention to because he would be too busy staring lovingly at Zhengting’s adorable laugh. Instead, he’s stuck in LA traffic, Zhengting-less, and with an angry Yanjun and a stubborn Zhangjing who are refusing to look at each other.

Xukun gave up trying half an hour ago, when he nicely suggested they calm down and talk it out and was greeted with a lovely “shut it, mushroomhead” from Yanjun.

They do make it back to the hotel alive and in one piece, though, and Xukun almost bursts in relief. However, his happiness is short-lived when their manager tells them that someone has requested a room change and Xukun was to be temporary roommates with Justin, while Zhangjing will be with Zhengting and Yanjun will move to Nongnong’s for the night. He has no doubt that this was the working of that demonic couple, but his manager gives him a sheepish smile and says it’s “only for tonight,” so there is little else he can do but fume silently.

Make no mistake, Xukun adores Justin. The boy is both a younger brother and a friend, always coming to Xukun for help with his dance moves and happily telling him little quirks of Zhengting that the elder would have kept as a secret to the grave (like how Zhengting is ticklish.) Xukun loves Justin, but what he doesn’t love is hearing Papillon being blasted at 3 A.M. because Justin is so excited his groupmate is rooming with him. He doesn’t love walking into the room after a long day of practice and almost losing a lung from fright because the pile of clothes Justin leaves by the door is beginning to take the shape of a human.

He decides to head to the bathroom to wash off the sweat from that three-hour car ride and the deathly expression he’s most like sporting from thinking about about how he has to share a room with Justin, who is not soft like Zhengting and doesn’t smell nice like Zhengting and is not Zhengting. This may actually go on for more than a night if the fight drags on and Xukun just hopes Yanjun isn’t the stubborn type.

-

Yanjun is, in fact, the stubborn type.

“Why do _I_ have to talk to him first? He should come talk to _me_ ,” Said boy’s voice booms through one of the stalls and it startles Xukun into dropping his soap onto the shiny sink. He perks up out of curiosity.

“No, Chaoze. I’m hanging up, now. Don’t call me if you’re just gonna take his side. Have fun in Thailand and tell the boys I said hi.”

Xukun has to stop himself from snorting out loud. _Sides? What is this? Kindergarten?_

He leaves quietly before Yanjun could notice, though. This might actually become interesting.

- 

Being in a group together, especially one with only boys, they notice the tension between the two rather quickly and exchange meaningful glances when Zhanjing plops down to a seat next to Linong and stuffs his face with food before anyone could ask him questions. Before Chengcheng or Justin could do something stupid like ask Zhangjing why he’s not sitting next to Yanjun and spoon-feeding his _baobei_ like usual, Zhengting has already pulled them aside to inform them of the situation and threate- tell them to keep quiet and eat their food.

Xukun, too, is refused kisses from Zhengting because the man thinks they should be _considerate_ of their friends who may feel uncomfortable right now. That draws the line for Xukun. He can deal with rooming with Justin who thinks it’s fun to FaceTime Chengcheng in the next room at 4 A.M. to discuss which power ranger they’d be, and he can deal with having to hug his $300 Gucci pillow and pretending it’s Zhengting for one night- maybe two, but what he can’t deal with is his boyfriend not even allowing him to hold his hands just because he thinks those two idiots might feel _awkward._

If that three hour torture trip in the car said anything, it’s that he should be the one feeling awkward. Besides, if he has to listen to Chengcheng and Justin cackle over pictures of Quanzhe’s big head one more time, he might just shave his own.

Xukun summons the rest of his brothers sans the couple into his and Zhengting’s cramped room with fake offers of free hotpot. Once the last of them arrives, Xukun locks the door and closes the blinds.

“We need an intervention.”

“Wait, no. I’m sorry I used your Gucci headband to blow my nose, I honestly didn’t know,” Linong pleads. “It looked like a small towel and I wasn’t wearing my glasses.”

“Wait, what-”

“Xukun’s right! We need an intervention,” Zhengting stands up. “It’s about Yanjun and Zhangjing.”

“You mean about how Yanjun is big mad because he thought Zhangjing wasn’t paying enough attention to him and then Zhangjing called him childish, which then led to them blowing up at each other’s faces about how the other never listens?” Justin replies with a mouthful of veggie chips and Xukun doesn’t even try to stop his disgust from showing.

“Justin, close your mouth,” Zhengting replies. “And how do you even know all this?”

“We asked Zhangjing, duh,” Chengcheng says.

“Hm, talking to them,” Xukun murmurs. “Maybe you’re onto something.”

“This is stupid, I think we should just let them figure it out on their own,” Ziyi sighs in exasperation and makes a move to leave until he’s stopped by Xukun.

“You’re single, Ziyi, you don’t know what it’s like to lay there all night dreaming about what you can’t have,”  Chengcheng and Justin both retch in unison at the gaze Xukun directs at his boyfriend.

Zhengting rolls his eyes, “It’s one night, babe. What’s more important is trying to figure out how to get them to make up. I will not stand by and let an argument divide this group when I can do something about it.”

“Be careful, Zhengting-ge, your Mom is showing,” Justin says and grins widely when it earns a cackle and a high-five from Chengcheng.

“What do you suggest we do then?” Ziyi asks.  

“First, we divide and conquer.”


End file.
